A new definition of heavy

Okay, so given the choice between categorizing myself as a light drinker, or an average or heavy drinker, I'll choose heavy, if we're talking about a party occasion such as Cinco de Mayo. But I have to say Evite's drink calculator brings a whole new meaning to the word 'heavy':
I've had some pretty drunk nights and I don't think any of them involved me drinking 3 beers and an entire liter of booze in two hours.